I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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