We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
