Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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