Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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