Will you blow on my dice?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
