the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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