Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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