Your face is a jimmy john
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
