meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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