Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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