I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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