her vagine was all disorganized.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
