Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
