it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
