he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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