How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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