I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
As shirtless as possible
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
40s are totally the cure
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
