do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
