My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
