actually, I'm a sock model
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
