It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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