You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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