Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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