I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
