For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
