my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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