I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
