no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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