you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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