i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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