I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
