bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
