check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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