god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
