I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Never underestimate the power of titties
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
