I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
