i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
