Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
