There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
