This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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