Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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