It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
