so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
