Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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