tell your sister to shave her snatch
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just cropdusted the office
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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