I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
