I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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