Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
