You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
