OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
