And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
