Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
